Salut! Sunderland needs warm, witty or wise Wanderer

[salut]

This site has produced a few excellent interviewees for Salut! Sunderland ahead of of games between our clubs. If anyone is up for doing the honours - even if not for the first time! - please either send a PM or email me at colinrandall1@gmail.com

The match has crept up on me a little so an early response from anyone interested would be greatly appreciated.

[DaveBWFC]

Don't let Natasha do it.

I'd do it but I'll only end up being abusive.

[ReebokTrotter]

Plagiarised from Crap Towns. ( 2003 )

Population 280,000

Unemployment 5%

Violent crime: 10.6 ( per 1000 per annum )

Sunderland was the biggest shipbuilding port in the world until it was bombed to smithereens in World War 2. Now it's more famous for being the biggest city in Europe without a cinema, and one of the BNP's favourite stomping grounds.

Not so much a town as a mortuary. Industry has long since departed, leaving the residents to shuffle around the town's meagre consumer options like zombies in a George A. Romero movie- while seagulls shíte on them.

The Crowtree Leisure Centre dominates the centre of this town. Rusting and stained with grime, and the ever-present bird poo. It is divided by a walkway where old men gather to gawp through the glass at swimming children.

There's graffiti at the bus station reading ' Southern bastards-fcúk off back south and keep the North East Northern' in 3 feet high lettering.

Sunderland's local girls ( wifeys ) are very skilled at applying orange foundation with the cleanest tidemarks anyone has ever seen-so in line with the cheek that their pasty necks proudly show the litter of trophy love bites.

Local dress consists of very cheap, light cotton summer clothes with packs of Royal 25s neatly placed up their T-shirt sleeves.

1 in 5 of the working age population ( 16 to 59 ) in Sunderland, are in receipt of Incapacity Benefit. It's one sick town.

Hope this helps.  

[Manny]

Colin, if you don't manage to get somebody to do the preview, I will help you guys out again.

[salut]

Thanks for the responses, including the description of Sunderland that would make any Riviera dweller envious. I think I have an excellent candidate, Manny, but will turn to you again if negotiations fall through (I've offered a choice of sunbathing spots on Roker Sands any time between now and the end of January but he seems to be holding out for more). And no, he's not Natasha, who actually did a very good 'Who are You?' for me last season and even picked up some votes when my panel voted on the season's best contributions from opposing supporters.

[Squidgy]

We have a bloke who lives in Holland that posts on here that most people find absolutley hilarious.

I think Amos should do it, he'd be good.