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jayjay23
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« on: 03 August 2011, 01:40 PM » |
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I thought this was a great idea and worth sharing...
Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the
money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the
following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
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jayjay23
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« Reply #1 on: 03 August 2011, 01:41 PM » |
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Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying
it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and
pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
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jayjay23
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« Reply #2 on: 03 August 2011, 01:41 PM » |
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COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad
cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the
county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable
to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
Also; Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear
of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #3 on: 03 August 2011, 01:42 PM » |
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I have a better plan than that. Sadly I can't share it with you on here.
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #4 on: 03 August 2011, 01:44 PM » |
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I have a better plan than that. Sadly I can't share it with you on here.
Even slightly hinting at something racist is not allowed. |
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #5 on: 03 August 2011, 01:46 PM » |
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Even slightly hinting at something racist is not allowed.
Where is the hint? |
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #6 on: 03 August 2011, 01:49 PM » |
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Why else would you not be able to share it?
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #7 on: 03 August 2011, 01:50 PM » |
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I may be planning to put my plan into action some time soon and don't want to ruin the surprise.
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Batman
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« Reply #8 on: 03 August 2011, 01:55 PM » |
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Interesting choice, but what happens if they die at 50 and a day - what happens to the shortfall? You've given the million out, but you're getting nowt back
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #9 on: 03 August 2011, 05:12 PM » |
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Fúck it I've always been rubbish at keeping secrets. My plan is to kill all gingers living in England.
That means you're safe Amos. Just don't come back. Ever.
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Batman
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« Reply #10 on: 03 August 2011, 05:13 PM » |
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Genocide isn't a laughing matter.
They have a right to live.
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #11 on: 03 August 2011, 05:14 PM » |
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I will give them 24 hours to get out. Just to stop you moaning.
Then people will be allowed to shoot gingers on sight.
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Batman
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« Reply #12 on: 03 August 2011, 05:15 PM » |
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Why? Did one forget to call you?
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #13 on: 03 August 2011, 05:16 PM » |
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Fúck it I've always been rubbish at keeping secrets. My plan is to kill all gingers living in England.
That means you're safe Amos. Just don't come back. Ever.
Ooo! Already back home, David :-) |
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Bouncebackability.
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #14 on: 03 August 2011, 05:17 PM » |
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Why? Did one forget to call you?
It was either gingers or short people who had to go. I flipped a coin and gingers lost. |
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #15 on: 03 August 2011, 05:17 PM » |
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Ooo! Already back home, David :-)
Where? |
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texan dave II
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« Reply #16 on: 03 August 2011, 05:26 PM » |
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It was either gingers or short people who had to go. I flipped a coin and gingers lost.
wait whats wrong with short people |
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #17 on: 03 August 2011, 05:30 PM » |
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wait whats wrong with short people
It was either short people or smelly people. Smelly people can sort themselves out. Short people will always be short. |
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texan dave II
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« Reply #19 on: 03 August 2011, 05:36 PM » |
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good point
what do you consider short?
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #20 on: 03 August 2011, 05:41 PM » |
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Bolton
You don't half do some jet setting Christopher. Make sure you stock up on pasties while you're home. good point
what do you consider short?
Men under 5'9 are basically one of Snow Whites helpers. Women can be any height as long as they're not fat, smelly or ginger. |
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texan dave II
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« Reply #21 on: 03 August 2011, 05:58 PM » |
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Good thing I dont live in Britain
I would not dare face the wrath of Dave
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #22 on: 03 August 2011, 06:03 PM » |
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How tall are you?
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texan dave II
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« Reply #23 on: 03 August 2011, 06:17 PM » |
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5'6"
But I have a huge
ego
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #24 on: 03 August 2011, 06:39 PM » |
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5'6"
But I have a huge
ego
Surely you get a disability allowance being that height. |
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