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ReebokTrotter
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« on: 07 May 2011, 10:25 PM » |
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After today's performance I called at the off-licence on the way back to my weasel pit and bought myself a case of Budweiser 66. ( It was, after all a vintage year with Bobby Moore lifting the trophy and all that.)
It's described as lightly carbonated and brewed with a touch of sweetness for a smooth, easy taste. At 4% I thought it would be an ideal companion for Britains Got Talent. On cracking open the first bottle I sniffed the head of the bottle and smelt the faintest aroma of malted barley mixed with dog piss. I guess the dog piss may have come from the bottle top but I can't be certain.
Several bottles later, I nearly choked on my Baba Ganoush and Gravlax when French dancer Michael Moran got a standing ovation for his body popping ability.I thought the programme was called Britains got Talent ?
Ten bottles later and I think this booze I have been drinking should be renamed ' Gnats Water.'
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Why do we experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers ?
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #1 on: 07 May 2011, 10:34 PM » |
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I've got a few Stellas in. I'll probably get violent soon.
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Mr Magoo
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« Reply #2 on: 07 May 2011, 10:36 PM » |
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Faggot get some Artois, Your drinking training larger.
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"If you're going through hell, keep going."
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ReebokTrotter
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« Reply #3 on: 07 May 2011, 10:37 PM » |
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I am going to watch MOTD and enjoy a nice packet of Walkers crisps while I watch that smug bastard with the cheesy grin. Groovy kind of love, my arse.
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Why do we experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers ?
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #4 on: 07 May 2011, 10:41 PM » |
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Faggot get some Artois, Your drinking training larger.
Who are you talking to Maggot cóck? |
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Mr Magoo
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« Reply #5 on: 07 May 2011, 10:49 PM » |
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I've got a few Stellas in. I'll probably get violent soon.
You only get Violent when you have to many female hormones' As of my maggot cock you wouldn't like it for a wart on your nose' Little boy. |
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"If you're going through hell, keep going."
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #6 on: 07 May 2011, 11:02 PM » |
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Here we go. Magoo has had a beer and is on here being abusive.
I said I was drinking Stella. You called me a faggot and said get some Artois. That's what I'm drinking you wart for a cóck simpleton.
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ReebokTrotter
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« Reply #7 on: 07 May 2011, 11:05 PM » |
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Dave, Magoo was referring to me when he said, ' Get some Artois in.'  |
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #8 on: 07 May 2011, 11:06 PM » |
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He's still a wart for a cock simpleton and you're a faggot RT.
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ReebokTrotter
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« Reply #9 on: 07 May 2011, 11:10 PM » |
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I might be a faggot but at least I am hung like a Hampster. Make no bones about it, Freddie Starr couldn't swallow the bastard and I would put money on that.
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Why do we experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers ?
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #10 on: 07 May 2011, 11:12 PM » |
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I reckon Magoo would give it a good go.
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ReebokTrotter
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« Reply #11 on: 07 May 2011, 11:19 PM » |
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I reckon Magoo would give it a good go.
I doubt it. Magoo has shown no inclination to visit the ' Devil's Alley.' |
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #12 on: 07 May 2011, 11:21 PM » |
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I doubt it. Magoo has shown no inclination to visit the ' Devil's Alley.'
He sucked me off once. |
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ReebokTrotter
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« Reply #13 on: 07 May 2011, 11:31 PM » |
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Dave, I am very cross with you. You have just told a blatant fib and you know it. Magoo is not, nor has he ever been, a self confessed player of the pink piccolo.
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #14 on: 07 May 2011, 11:32 PM » |
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Ok I admit it.
He sucked me off twice the bent bastard.
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doffcocker
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« Reply #15 on: 07 May 2011, 11:42 PM » |
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Pimms and lemonade for me.
I've made a right effort and everything. Oranges, strawberries, cucumber - the lot!
Obviously I'd normally be drinking somet manly....
But its just a big craving for me at the moment. At first when you drink it you think oh god thats a bit naff, but it really grows on you!
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ReebokTrotter
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« Reply #16 on: 07 May 2011, 11:44 PM » |
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I'll leave the reply to Dave!
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Why do we experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers ?
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #17 on: 07 May 2011, 11:49 PM » |
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I think we're all gays.
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ReebokTrotter
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« Reply #18 on: 07 May 2011, 11:53 PM » |
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Not me. I am not gay but I once slept with a bloke that was.  The only item that worries me on Doffcockers list is the Cucumber. |
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« Last Edit: 07 May 2011, 11:57 PM by ReebokTrotter »
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Why do we experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers ?
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Mr Magoo
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« Reply #19 on: 08 May 2011, 10:44 AM » |
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Ok I admit it.
He sucked me off twice the bent bastard.
In your dream's needle dick. |
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"If you're going through hell, keep going."
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #20 on: 08 May 2011, 10:47 AM » |
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You bumder Magoo. I had my eyes closed and was thinking of the Queen so I'm not gay.
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Mr Magoo
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« Reply #21 on: 08 May 2011, 10:50 AM » |
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What is a Bumder ?.
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"If you're going through hell, keep going."
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DaveBWFC
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« Reply #22 on: 08 May 2011, 10:57 AM » |
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It's what you are Magoo.
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ReebokTrotter
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« Reply #23 on: 08 May 2011, 10:44 PM » |
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What an awful night I have had .. I managed to polish off the Bud 66 and got into bed about 1am. I suffer with Chalfonts and always have a tube of Anusoil on my bedside cabinet. About three weeks ago I was erecting a Gazebo and did my shoulder in. My local pharmacist recommended ' Fiery Jack ' for muscle sprains.
Anyway, last night I woke up at 3am bursting for a piss and my dangle-berries were playing me up. In the dark, I mistakenly rubbed some ' Fiery Jack ' on my swollen grapes instead of the Anusoil. I immediately regretted putting off replacing the bedside lamp. I now know first hand how difficult it is to remove said embrocation from ones nether regions.
Woke up this morning with an extremely bad case of the Squitters. Which certainly didn't help matters! I don't know if it was the Gravlax and Baba Ganoush or the 66 but either way I was confined to quarters.
I haven't eaten a single thing all day. I managed to stagger out to the ' Offy ' at 7pm tonight and got myself another crate of 66. If I still have the Squitters in the morning I know exactly which brewery company to sue. Smooth and refreshing ?, my arse!
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« Last Edit: 09 May 2011, 06:41 AM by ReebokTrotter »
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Why do we experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers ?
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Chris Rabz
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« Reply #24 on: 09 May 2011, 03:10 PM » |
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It tastes like piss and then you go and buy another crate of it?
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When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low. When resentment rides high, but emotion won't grow... And we're changing our ways, taking different roads. Love... Love will tear us apart, again.
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