Manny
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Posts: 6989
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« Reply #325 on: 18 May 2010, 02:55 AM » |
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How do you know when your girlfriend is rough?
When you ask for a blowjob and she replies "not tonight, I'm tired. Just wank in a cup and I'll drink it in the morning"
Is that a true story? |
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For professional and affordable website solutions, check out my online portfolio.chris-mann.co.uk
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Squidgy
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« Reply #326 on: 18 May 2010, 03:01 AM » |
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Is that a true story?
Only if she promised to gargle |
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I have learned never to ridicule any man's opinion, however strange it may seem - ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE - Like fúck I have.
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noblet
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« Reply #327 on: 18 May 2010, 03:46 PM » |
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One day little johnny hears a noise and peek's into his parents bedroom.he sees his mum bent over the dresser and dad goin at it from behind.his dad sees him and winks as johnny closes the door.after finishin his dad goes to check on johnny.he finds grandma bent over the dresser wiv johnny goin at it behind her. Dad yells 'what the hell are u doin?'johnny replies 'not so f*ckin funny when its your mum is it'.!?..
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spudulika
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« Reply #328 on: 18 May 2010, 06:13 PM » |
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Only if she promised to gargle
your poor poor grilfriend. |
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, and professionals built the Titanic.
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Didledee
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« Reply #329 on: 18 May 2010, 07:32 PM » |
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Walkers crisps new flavours of the world cup selection: Japan: chicken teriyaki Germany: bratwurst sausage USA: cheeseburger Italy: spaghetti bolognese England: roast beef and yorkshire pudding Hang on! They've completely forgotton to include Ghana's bluebottle flavour  I bought a bag of Ethiopian World Cup Walkers Crisps today. It was empty |
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* Jay Jay Okocha * Youri Djorkaeff * BWFC * Stu Holden * Lee Chung-Yong * |
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Squidgy
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« Reply #330 on: 18 May 2010, 08:11 PM » |
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I bought a bag of Ethiopian World Cup Walkers Crisps today.
It was empty
Or the Scottish's "it almost tastes like haggis" flavour. |
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I have learned never to ridicule any man's opinion, however strange it may seem - ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE - Like fúck I have.
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Keegan
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« Reply #331 on: 23 May 2010, 03:49 AM » |
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**NEWS FLASH**
Ian Holloway will be sacked by Blackpool as he failed to achieve the board's objective to stay in the Championship.
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"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”
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Jamster26
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« Reply #332 on: 26 May 2010, 12:12 PM » |
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Pronounced as one letter, and written with three, two letters there are, and two only in me. I'm double, I'm single, I'm black, blue, and gray, I'm read from both ends, and the same either way. What am I?
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"Just when they think they have all the answers, I change the questions".
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Didledee
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« Reply #333 on: 26 May 2010, 06:01 PM » |
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Eye
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* Jay Jay Okocha * Youri Djorkaeff * BWFC * Stu Holden * Lee Chung-Yong * |
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Jamster26
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« Reply #334 on: 26 May 2010, 08:45 PM » |
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Good didle  |
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"Just when they think they have all the answers, I change the questions".
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Martinbwfc
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« Reply #335 on: 06 June 2010, 08:44 PM » |
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Iron man is a super hero,Iron woman is a command.
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so just give the twat a good shoeing, he'll respect you.
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noblet
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« Reply #336 on: 14 June 2010, 10:19 PM » |
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Give £2 a month to a hungry African and what do they do?
Buy a fecking trumpet!
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hjd
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« Reply #337 on: 15 June 2010, 08:31 PM » |
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At training today Robert Green faced 4000 shots and did not concede a goal.
Both he and Emile Heskey will return to training with the rest of the squad tomorrow.
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Squidgy
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« Reply #338 on: 22 June 2010, 02:02 AM » |
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Three England players managed to land a punch on the angry supporter who broke into their changing rooms at the World Cup.
A clear case of the shitt hitting the fan!
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I have learned never to ridicule any man's opinion, however strange it may seem - ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE - Like fúck I have.
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jimbo_bwfc
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« Reply #339 on: 24 June 2010, 10:39 PM » |
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« Last Edit: 24 June 2010, 11:19 PM by jimbo_bwfc »
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Bwfc4eva
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« Reply #340 on: 26 June 2010, 01:57 AM » |
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A young man went into a sex shop to buy some condoms and a sales girl approached him...
Sales girl: "Can I help you, Sir?"
Young man: "Yes, I want to buy some condoms."
Sales girl: "What size do you need, Sir?"
Young man: "I didn't realize they came in different sizes. I don't know what size I would need."
Sales girl: "May I hold your penis to tell what size you would need?"
As she was holding the penis, she called for assistance:
"Give me a Small one..."
"Wait! Make it MEDIUM..."
"Wait! Make it LARGE..."
"shíte! Give me a TISSUE !!!"
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Bwfc4eva
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« Reply #341 on: 26 June 2010, 02:03 AM » |
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Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of `rodeo sex`. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her jugs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can `stay mounted` for.
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Biggles
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« Reply #342 on: 01 July 2010, 07:22 PM » |
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After watching TV in the bedroom most of the day, a young lad go`s down stairs and askes his Dad what Love Juice is.
Fcke me, dad thinks to his self what the hells he been watching. So he starts to tell him about the birds and the bees.
After 10 minutes the lad stops his dad and askes----whats this got to do with tennis.
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Didledee
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« Reply #343 on: 02 July 2010, 07:42 AM » |
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A man went to a urologist and told him he was having a problem, as he was unable to get his manhood erect.
The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of the organ were damaged from a previous viral infection and there was nothing he could actually do for him.
However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if he is willing to take the risk.
The treatment consisted of planting muscle tissues from an elephant's trunk into his 'old fella'.
The man thought about it for a while. The thought of having to go through life without sex was too much for him to bear.
So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty to the elephant, the man decided to go for it.
A few weeks after the operation, he was given the green light to go and try out his newly renovated equipment.
As a result he planned a romantic evening with his girl friend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town. In the middle of dinner he felt a strong stirring in his loins that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his penis sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and returned to his trousers.
His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly grin on her face said, 'That was incredible! Can you do that again?'
With tears in his eyes he replied, 'I think I can, but I am not sure if another bread roll will fit up my ass'
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* Jay Jay Okocha * Youri Djorkaeff * BWFC * Stu Holden * Lee Chung-Yong * |
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Sluffy
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« Reply #344 on: 03 July 2010, 01:18 AM » |
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Talking about arse's....  |
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Squidgy
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« Reply #345 on: 08 July 2010, 08:52 PM » |
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Apparently, the Pope reckons that condoms 'make things worse' in regards to the aids epidemic.
The day I take sex advice from an 82-year-old virgin, is the same day I take parenting advice from Kate and Gerry McCann.
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I have learned never to ridicule any man's opinion, however strange it may seem - ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE - Like fúck I have.
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Squidgy
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« Reply #346 on: 08 July 2010, 08:52 PM » |
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Bolton have acted quickly and signed unknown striker Raoul Moat.
All they know he is good on target and wanted all over Europe
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I have learned never to ridicule any man's opinion, however strange it may seem - ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE - Like fúck I have.
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1andonly1derer
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« Reply #347 on: 09 July 2010, 12:43 PM » |
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Emile Heskey finally had a productive summer after winning the Ladies singles title at Wimbledon.
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If at first you don't succeed, use rohypnol.
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Manny
Administrator
Offline
Posts: 6989
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« Reply #348 on: 09 July 2010, 11:41 PM » |
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
That will be all.
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For professional and affordable website solutions, check out my online portfolio.chris-mann.co.uk
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Bwfc4eva
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« Reply #349 on: 11 July 2010, 12:47 PM » |
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I tried to get my pervert postman fired because he kept wanking through my letter box.
He got away with it though, "deliver contents of sack" was actually in his job description.
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