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jimbo_bwfc
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« Reply #50 on: 18 September 2009, 05:29 PM » |
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haha, i'll take save some face by revealing it wasn't my joke, i just c+p'd it  Although it did make me chuckle a tad when i read it. |
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BWFC 10
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« Reply #51 on: 18 September 2009, 08:53 PM » |
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Why do blondes have 1% more brains than a cow?
So when you suck there tits they dont shíte on you....
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wanderlust
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« Reply #52 on: 21 September 2009, 12:42 PM » |
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Oldies...
A young couple from Blackburn booked their wedding reception at the Fernhurst and at 10 o'clock announced they were going to bed. As they walked up the stairs, she turned to him and said "Please be gentle with me - I'm a virgin." The young lad looked confused and said "Here's the room key darling. I just need a word with my Dad and I'll be straight up. Make yourself comfortable - I won't be long".
Up the stairs she goes whilst the lad rushes back into the reception and pulls his Dad to one side.
"What shall I do Dad? She says she's a virgin?"
"Leave her son." says Dad.
"But I've only just married her - why should I leave her?"
"Well" says Dad "If she isn't good enough for her own family, she's not good enough for ours!"
Guy walks into a bar with his pet newt on his shoulder.
"What's he called?" asks the barman.
"He's called Tiny" says the man.
"So how come you decided to call him Tiny then?" banters the barman jovially.
"Cos he's my newt"
I'll get me coat.
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Knobpolisher
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« Reply #53 on: 22 September 2009, 01:03 PM » |
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Celebrities were asked who deserves to win in the upcoming match between Bolton and Stoke.
Amir Khan & Vernon Kay said Bolton
Gordon Brown & Les Dennis said Stoke
Barak Obama said "who vs who now?"
Kanye West said "Beyonce!"
I don't understand this - Is it just me ? Could someone explain it. (please) |
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jimbo_bwfc
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« Reply #54 on: 22 September 2009, 03:12 PM » |
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go on youtube and type in Taylor Swift Kanye West incident.
It's become a major international incident(not that i agree with that, i think it's a fooking ridiculous story. Can't believe its escalated so far)
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Manny
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Posts: 6989
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« Reply #55 on: 22 September 2009, 03:20 PM » |
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It's just the story of another rapper thinking they're bigger than everybody else.
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For professional and affordable website solutions, check out my online portfolio.chris-mann.co.uk
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jimbo_bwfc
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« Reply #56 on: 22 September 2009, 03:23 PM » |
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Speaking of which, the only thing i realised from watching that was how small is Kanye West and doesn't he have a funny little voice.
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267
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« Reply #57 on: 22 September 2009, 04:43 PM » |
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I saw him on Jonathan Ross a while back and he just makes you want to put him in your top pocket and leave him there for eternity.
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"What about the piranhas?"
"They're eating the guests Sir"
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #58 on: 22 September 2009, 04:49 PM » |
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Put the youtube video of your dad dancing with no pants on jimbo , its creepy youtube gold
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BWFC 10
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« Reply #59 on: 23 September 2009, 06:00 PM » |
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Woman wakes up in hospital after fanny reduction surgery.There are three bunches of flowers at her bed side,who sent these she says to the nurse.Well the nurse says these are from your husband for going through with the op,these are from the surgeon and hopes you are happy with the out come. What about these the woman says, Oh says the nurse they are from the guy in the burns unit thanking you for his new ears.
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #60 on: 23 September 2009, 06:56 PM » |
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267
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« Reply #61 on: 23 September 2009, 07:01 PM » |
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There's people in California that'd pay good money for that.
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"What about the piranhas?"
"They're eating the guests Sir"
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mangler
Hot Prospect
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Posts: 97
Megson: Legend
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« Reply #62 on: 25 September 2009, 01:53 PM » |
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Man Utd's dressing room minutes before kick off in the derby...
"Right lads, I want 110% effort from the word go against this blue shíte. Remember, these bastards did us on the anniversary of the Munich disaster!! If we don't win today then those Cockney fuckers at Chelsea will have 6 points on us.
"Now I don't care if you punch, kick or headbutt your way to victory... you MUST win this! Good luck".
At which point, Fergie walks in and says "Cheers ref, I'll take it from here".
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White Lion
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Posts: 32
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« Reply #63 on: 29 September 2009, 11:04 PM » |
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NASA sent a woman and two chimps into space.
Radio messages as follows;
NASA to chimp 1 " Optimize life support systems and recalibrate radiation monitoring equipment
NASA to chimp 2 " Check trajectory and compensate if required using formula (M2-3n)x(5-m3)
NASA to woman " Hoover capsule, feed chimps, touch fcúk all !! "
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Didledee
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« Reply #64 on: 29 September 2009, 11:12 PM » |
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* Jay Jay Okocha * Youri Djorkaeff * BWFC * Stu Holden * Lee Chung-Yong * |
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aarons2009
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« Reply #65 on: 30 September 2009, 10:51 PM » |
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Unlikely things to hear on songs of praise......''HELLO CANTABURY LETS MAKE SOME fcuking NOISE!!''
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I remember god asking me what i want before i was born a long penis or a long memory....i can never remember which i picked.......
........Ill get my coat.
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We're the one and only Wanderers!
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Didledee
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« Reply #66 on: 30 September 2009, 10:57 PM » |
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........Ill get my coat.
If you can find it ! |
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* Jay Jay Okocha * Youri Djorkaeff * BWFC * Stu Holden * Lee Chung-Yong * |
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The Next Nicky Hunt
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« Reply #67 on: 01 October 2009, 03:25 PM » |
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Knock knock.
who's there?
Osama Bin
Osama Bin who?
Osama Bin toilet, he'll be back in a minute
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COYWM!
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Martinbwfc
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« Reply #68 on: 02 October 2009, 01:30 AM » |
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Knock knock.
who's there?
Osama Bin
Osama Bin who?
Osama Bin toilet, he'll be back in a minute
I'll get yer coat for you |
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so just give the twat a good shoeing, he'll respect you.
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mangler
Hot Prospect
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Posts: 97
Megson: Legend
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« Reply #69 on: 02 October 2009, 03:47 PM » |
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What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
You know that she's gonna swallow!!!
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mangler
Hot Prospect
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Posts: 97
Megson: Legend
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« Reply #70 on: 02 October 2009, 03:53 PM » |
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A young boy sat at the back of the class squirming & scratching his crotch.
Teacher says, "What's wrong?"
Embarrassed, the boy explains that he's just been circumcised and is itchy; so the teacher tells him to go to the office and ring his mum for advice.
5 minutes later the boy returns, sits back down and the other kids begin to stare at him. Teacher notices that he's got his willy hanging out, so rushes over and says "What on earth are you doing?!?!"
Boy says, "Mum said if I could stick it out till lunchtime she'll come and get me!"
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mangler
Hot Prospect
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Posts: 97
Megson: Legend
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« Reply #71 on: 02 October 2009, 03:58 PM » |
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Quentin and Rupert, two gays, visit the zoo. When they come to the gorilla enclosure they notice that one of the banana botherers has a huge erection.
Rupert can't resist, so reaches through the bars and fondles the gorilla's member. Suddenly, the gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and bums him silly for six hours straight. When he's done he chucks him out, before Rupert's rushed to hospital in an ambulance.
Two days later Quentin drops by to visit and asks "Are you hurt?"
"AM I HURT?!?" Rupert shouts.
"Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't text..."
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ReebokTrotter
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« Reply #72 on: 12 October 2009, 11:22 AM » |
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A millionaire is being driven to work by his Chauffeur in his 20 foot Limo. He sees two guys eating grass on the side of the road. He tells the driver to stop and gets out and approaches the two men.
" Why are you two eating grass?"
One replies, " We have no money, we have to eat grass to survive."
The millionaire says, " Get into my Limo and I will take you back to my house where you can eat as much as you like to your hearts content."
They reply, " We have wives and children sat over there by the tree"
The millionaire looks round and sees two women and six kids sat under a tree.
" Bring them as well" he says.
They all pile into the Limo and as they are driving back to his mansion one of the men says, " Thank you for being so kind by offering to feed us all".
The millionaire replies, " Think nothing of it. You will love it at my place. The grass is nearly a foot long."
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Why do we experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers ?
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mangler
Hot Prospect
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Posts: 97
Megson: Legend
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« Reply #73 on: 12 October 2009, 02:23 PM » |
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Apparently, Stephen Gately died just like Ayrton Senna...
With skidmarks on his helmet!!
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Archiebold Stanley III
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« Reply #74 on: 12 October 2009, 02:41 PM » |
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Met a blind one legged pikey at the cashpoint today,
He asked me to check his balance,
So i pushed the fanny over!!
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Go fcúk yourself San Diego!
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