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Diana Prince
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« Reply #400 on: 11 October 2010, 11:59 AM » |
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Urgent help needed!! Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on ebay? I bid on a 'mickey mouse outfit' and I am now 6 mins away from owning Liverpool Football Club!
Have you been down the mine with the Chileans? |
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traf
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« Reply #401 on: 13 October 2010, 07:39 PM » |
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Now the Chilean Miners are rescued, their first task is to visit Roy Hodgson at Anfield to advise him how to get out a fcuking big hole before Christmas.
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Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid
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traf
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« Reply #402 on: 13 October 2010, 07:40 PM » |
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When I turned on the news and saw miners and Scousers celebrating, I thought Margaret Thatcher had died.
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Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid
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traf
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« Reply #403 on: 13 October 2010, 07:49 PM » |
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A man brings home a cock sucking frog and gives it to his wife.
She asks "What the fcúk am I supposed to do with that?"
So he replies "Teach it to cook, then fcúk off!"
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Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid
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traf
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« Reply #404 on: 13 October 2010, 07:57 PM » |
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A new message has been placed below the statue of John Lennon at Liverpool Airport.
The old inscription "Above us only sky" has been replaced by "Below us only Wolves and West Ham".
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Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid
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Mr Magoo
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« Reply #405 on: 13 October 2010, 09:21 PM » |
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Sorry had to put this up
At the end of the tax year, the Inland Revenue office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the agent was checking the books he turned to the Accountant of the Hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"
"Good question," noted the Accountant. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.
But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Hospital Accountant, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Accountant.
"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Accountant. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the Inland Revenue Office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick!"
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"If you're going through hell, keep going."
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traf
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« Reply #407 on: 14 October 2010, 09:11 AM » |
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Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid
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bolt-on
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« Reply #408 on: 15 October 2010, 12:02 AM » |
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spudulika
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« Reply #409 on: 15 October 2010, 12:57 PM » |
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Is that air hostess Heather from Eastenders? |
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, and professionals built the Titanic.
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traf
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« Reply #410 on: 15 October 2010, 01:33 PM » |
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Hale & Fúcking Pace?
Jesus wept.
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Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #411 on: 15 October 2010, 01:39 PM » |
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Hale & Fúcking Pace?
Jesus wept.
As I have previously stated, I rarely click on a youtube link, so thanks for clarifying I was correct in this instance. |
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traf
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« Reply #413 on: 15 October 2010, 02:40 PM » |
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It's supposed to be a thread about jokes.
Jokes are funniest when you've not heard them before.
Clips from old TV shows aren't jokes.
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Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #414 on: 15 October 2010, 02:53 PM » |
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It's supposed to be a thread about jokes.
Jokes are funniest when you've not heard them before.
Clips from old TV shows aren't jokes.
I'm not sure some of the text jokes I receive would be found amusing to many on here.
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1andonly1derer
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« Reply #415 on: 15 October 2010, 03:02 PM » |
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I'm not sure some of the text jokes I receive would be found amusing to many on here.
I'm quite certain they would, get them on here! |
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If at first you don't succeed, use rohypnol.
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bolt-on
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« Reply #416 on: 15 October 2010, 03:22 PM » |
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Message understood traf,they'll be no more.
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Mr Magoo
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« Reply #417 on: 15 October 2010, 03:55 PM » |
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Message understood traf,they'll be no more.
bolt-on tell him to feck off, its a free country enjoy your self. |
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"If you're going through hell, keep going."
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noblet
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« Reply #418 on: 15 October 2010, 04:01 PM » |
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I was in bed with my new girlfriend last night...
She said:
"You have the biggest willy I've ever laid my hands on...
I replied:
"You're pulling my leg"
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #419 on: 15 October 2010, 04:06 PM » |
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bolt-on tell him to feck off, its a free country enjoy your self.
It is, but this is a joke thread. |
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Mr Magoo
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« Reply #420 on: 15 October 2010, 05:20 PM » |
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It is, but this is a joke thread.
I am surprised, more chatting on here than Jokes. |
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"If you're going through hell, keep going."
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #421 on: 15 October 2010, 05:52 PM » |
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I am surprised, more chatting on here than Jokes.
There's a clue in the title. |
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MEGSON IS A POPADOM
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« Reply #422 on: 15 October 2010, 10:07 PM » |
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Chilean miner making love to his wife for first
time since release:
Miner: 'Can we switch the lights off?' . . .
Wife: 'Of course honey' . . .
Miner: 'Can I have you from behind?' . . .
Wife: 'Anything you want my brave boy' . . .
Miner: 'Can I call you Pedro? . . . . . '
When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes
closed waiting for Santa to come.
Then there was the awkward silence as he got
dressed and left
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Martinbwfc
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« Reply #423 on: 16 October 2010, 04:37 AM » |
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Chilean miner making love to his wife for first
time since release:
Miner: 'Can we switch the lights off?' . . .
Wife: 'Of course honey' . . .
Miner: 'Can I have you from behind?' . . .
Wife: 'Anything you want my brave boy' . . .
Miner: 'Can I call you Pedro? . . . . . '
When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes
closed waiting for Santa to come.
Then there was the awkward silence as he got
dressed and left
You are disturbed. |
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so just give the twat a good shoeing, he'll respect you.
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #424 on: 16 October 2010, 10:30 AM » |
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You are disturbed.
Oh trust me, mine are worse. |
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