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Natasha Whittam
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« on: 25 June 2010, 01:40 PM » |
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7.45am: I rolled over to find Helga pleasuring herself with a cricket bat. We haven’t had sex for over 12 months now since I forced her into anal sex while she wore a Kevin Davies mask. I’m not gay though.
8am: Finally managed to get myself out of bed, I really must try and lose a few pounds because I haven’t seen my willy since Kevin Nolan scored the winner at Old Trafford. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to disguise the dress I wear under my clothes because they are becoming so tight. I’m not gay though.
8.30am: Managed to get to the bus before it drove off, it’s the first time I’ve run since I threw that grenade through the Mosque window.
8.31am: Only one seat left on the bus next to an Asian lady. I decided to stand. Why didn’t she give her seat up for me?
9am: Arrived at the Call Centre for work. Was glad to see young Alan was in today, he has a bum you could slide down. Took a call from Mr Mohammed who was complaining about his TV package. Managed to set all his channels to a re-run of the BNP Party Conference. Result.
10.30am: Went onto Burnden Aces and made fun of all the gayers and idiots that support Bolton. Flirted with Chris Amos and Howfen White. I’m not gay though.
12noon: Lunchtime! Ordered one of everything from the local sandwich shop but it was delivered by a Michael Ricketts lookalike. Ended up throwing my lunch away. They really should state in their literature who will be delivering.
2pm: We have a new bint at the Call Centre and it was my turn to show her what I do. After spending half an hour explaining I press ‘y’ for yes and ‘n’ for no she informed me that she was a chubby chaser and wanted to shag me in the bogs. I had to say no as she wasn’t my type, I prefer the tomboy look. But I’m not gay.
3.30pm: Took a call from Mr Khan who was getting no reception, told him I was only trained to say YES or NO and he’d be better off ringing the Technical Helpline. I gave him the number of the local white supremacist group.
3.45pm: Spent the rest of the afternoon on Burnden Aces typing abuse at some Dutch wanker from Bolton. I love feeling superior. I wouldn’t mind seeing what that chris rabz looks like. I’m not gay though.
5pm: Hometime, result! The polish bus driver refused to let me on the bus as he claimed he had a weight limit. Racist wanker. Had to walk home. I’ve not walked home since I was ejected from the Reebok for calling Bruno N’Gotty a French twat.
7pm: The walk was killing me. Had made it about half of the mile home when I had to stop to prevent a heart attack. By chance I stopped outside a bar called Bum ‘n Tickle….must be some new dance craze. Anyway, a beer is a beer so in I went. I wasn’t even phased by the bouncers in tight leather shorts. Inside it was full of gayers.
1am: Woke up on my front to find my boxers round my ankles and four men lined up behind me. I’m not gay though.
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Fair play to you then if you're willing to share your knickers with a willy.
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a.s
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« Reply #1 on: 25 June 2010, 02:21 PM » |
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I thought he was a fat gay?
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jimbo_bwfc
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« Reply #2 on: 25 June 2010, 02:49 PM » |
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7/10
The racist stuff is very funny.
The gay stuff isn't that good until the final one.
Good effort.
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #3 on: 25 June 2010, 04:12 PM » |
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I found the stuff about the Khans of this world amusing although the gay stuff wasnt my scene, I do think watching a bird pleasure herself on a cricket bat might be a good watch.
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #4 on: 25 June 2010, 04:22 PM » |
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I found the stuff about the Khans of this world amusing although the gay stuff wasnt my scene, I do think watching a bird pleasure herself on a cricket bat might be a good watch.
Bummer! |
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Martinbwfc
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« Reply #5 on: 26 June 2010, 04:37 AM » |
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Racist stuff Quality Gayer stuff unrealistic,but no mention of Amos is this you mellowing?.
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression, so just give the twat a good shoeing, he'll respect you.
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #6 on: 26 June 2010, 10:08 AM » |
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Racist stuff Quality Gayer stuff unrealistic,but no mention of Amos is this you mellowing?.
look at 1030am! |
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Bouncebackability.
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Howfen White
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« Reply #7 on: 26 June 2010, 10:22 AM » |
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Seems pretty accurate to me, well done Natasha
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #8 on: 26 June 2010, 11:06 AM » |
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I dont give too much away like Amos so it is not as easy to do one on me, I can laugh at myself more than anybody but I just didnt think much of it.
I do think this and another thread cements my status as Burnden Aces head honcho though.
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #9 on: 26 June 2010, 12:06 PM » |
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I dont give too much away like Amos so it is not as easy to do one on me, I can laugh at myself more than anybody but I just didnt think much of it.
I do think this and another thread cements my status as Burnden Aces head honcho though.
I did notice how he tried to turn it round to him though. You have your day of infamy, flower. |
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #10 on: 26 June 2010, 12:10 PM » |
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Just pointing out Martin's mistake (yet again!)
see you all in the morning :-)
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Bouncebackability.
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Squidgy
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« Reply #11 on: 01 July 2010, 03:29 AM » |
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7.45am: I rolled over to find Helga pleasuring herself with a cricket bat.
Squidgy likes this  |
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I have learned never to ridicule any man's opinion, however strange it may seem - ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE - Like fúck I have.
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #12 on: 04 July 2010, 09:39 PM » |
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4/7/10 21.39pm
I went for a shíte.
Happy 4th of July everyone.
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #13 on: 04 July 2010, 09:43 PM » |
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Happy 4th of July everyone.
Wash your dirty mouth out! |
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #14 on: 04 July 2010, 09:54 PM » |
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Wash your dirty mouth out!
I think having a shite to celebrate American independance is very fitting, dont you? |
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #15 on: 04 July 2010, 09:57 PM » |
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I think having a shite to celebrate American independance is very fitting, dont you?
Fair comment. You had me worried for a moment. I though it'd be a case of it being a half of Guinness on Potato Picking Day & ridiculous Orange wigs on some Dutch holiday. |
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #16 on: 04 July 2010, 10:01 PM » |
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Nah fcúk that, fucks me right off when fannys do that. Lets have a pint to celebrate potato picking day but there all shrugs about when st georges day is.
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Shaft
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« Reply #17 on: 04 July 2010, 10:21 PM » |
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Very good Nat, I thought that was very funny. You are an excellent writer and very funny and creative.
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Howfen White
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« Reply #18 on: 04 July 2010, 10:22 PM » |
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Very good Nat, I thought that was very funny. You are an excellent writer and very funny and creative.
Stop licking arse |
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Bwfc4eva
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« Reply #19 on: 04 July 2010, 11:55 PM » |
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Very good Nat, I thought that was very funny. You are an excellent writer and very funny and creative.
I think Nat has an Admirer! |
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