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Didledee
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« on: 12 May 2010, 12:26 AM » |
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This actually has meanings to what i think on certain areas of Bolton[like about Coyle, Megson and the players] but I've written in like metaphors, well maybe not metaphors, I don't know the word, some random stuff and just a laugh.
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Hi my name is Didledee, and I am going to update you with the latest news on Bolton Wanderers.
Owen Coyle was in deep discussion last night with Italian, English, Spanish, Iraq and German sides who for legal reasons have to be unnamed, with a view of signing some of their major stars.
Bolton finished the season with a 2-1 home win against Birmingham at the Reebok stadium last weekend, and 14TH place was a respectable finish considering the rubbish Bolton fans had to put up with under Gary Megson. Now Owen Coyle and Phil Gartside will work together to rebuild the team for next season and Eddie Davies has given permission for Owen to spend about 200 million on new players.
The money has come from the wonderful job Gary Megson has done on Eddie Davies's garden stall at the 'Millionaires Green finger car boot sale'. From very respectful sources, a giant cucumber weighing in at 500 pounds sold for 60 million pounds, Neighbours said in a brief statement that he started growing it from scratch, from what first looked like a small baked bean it ended up looking like one of Vannessa Feltz dildo's, they also said they could hear screams of negatives like " 9-0-1" defend defend defend" " get that ball away from their goal " they probably caught him saying these things whilst he was having a nap dreaming of onions or watching the latest in how to become hated in 60 seconds.
And that's not all to excite Bolton fans, who we're last week voted Britian's best, season ticket prices have been dramatically slashed, the highest being a measly £40 with free beer and a porn mag for every male, and the rubbish seats near the smelly fat people only £2 a game. If you are disabled or under 5 foot you get a free yo-yo and a packet of hob-nobs, Yes it certainly is good times to be a Bolton fan.
In other news, Lofty the Lion will get a new friend next season, Lucy the lion will keep him company at the Reebok starting from the 1st game in August, we got a quick chat with the lion himself and this is what he had to say "roar" as you can tell he was very excited and I think what we smelt was a little bit of lion semen on his pants.
Bolton will also introduce an idea I my self came up with, watch out for a brand new light in the sky next season, instead of the batman logo, think of Bolton Badge beaming into the sky, now that will make you proud, on an early test run of this, unfortunately it caused a fatality, a low flying jet plane pilot was heading to his local curry house when the beam made him blind and making him lose control, the plane crashed into a nearby farm, 7 pigs, 4 cows and the farmers wife all survived, but the pilot, 6 pigs, 3 cows, 2 ducks, 1 hen, 10 geese and 4 dogs all died, we still don't know what has happened to the missing kangaroo, we can only imagine it is now a king or Queen in Cuba.
Also Bolton are planning on ditching Reebok as their sponsor and are trying to get a Bolton children's hospital to be their main sponsor, Gretar Steinsson, Ivan Klasnic and Lee Chung-Yong all went to meet the children and greeted them with presents and talked to them. We didn't have any cameras in the building but what we have heard from some good HP source was that Lee ate the children's pet poodle, Ivan Klasnic got very emotional and wanted to steal one of the disabled kids kidneys, whilst Gretar got egged by the dinner ladies because he thrashed a kid with no arms 10-0 on FIFA.
And finally Bolton Wanderers are visiting America which is very close to Africa this year for their pre-season, their new 5 stars will probably be rested because they are all at the World Cup, but many players like Kevin Davies can't wait to go to McDonald's and try a famous American super king size Big Mac Meal.
We have heard Bolton also will visit the white house to meet the President and play cluedo, times square to pretend they are in Grand Theft Auto and head up to the grand canyon in Canada to have a massive orgy, for some team bonding. Tamir Cohen and Paul Robinson will not be going on this trip though as they have both been released and will soon be playing for teams like Oxfam United, Danny Shittu is having a family wedding and will also not be joining up with lads, his brother is getting married to a bull, it will be called Bull Shittu.
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And that is your Didle news, remember to read next time for more up to date news concerning Bolton Wanderers.
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« Last Edit: 12 May 2010, 01:05 AM by Didledee »
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* Jay Jay Okocha * Youri Djorkaeff * BWFC * Stu Holden * Lee Chung-Yong * |
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Sluffy
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« Reply #1 on: 12 May 2010, 01:14 AM » |
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Mad but at the same time brilliant!!! Superb Didle.  |
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bigsamsarmyusa
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« Reply #2 on: 12 May 2010, 04:57 AM » |
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Your mind is a curious yet interesting place, Didle.  |
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #3 on: 12 May 2010, 09:17 AM » |
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I cant bring myself to read it as soon as I saw Coyle mentioned in the same sentence as legal reasons and Iraq.
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #4 on: 12 May 2010, 01:28 PM » |
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I cant bring myself to read it as soon as I saw Coyle mentioned in the same sentence as legal reasons and Iraq.
What you jealous you haven't got blogger status for all your mindless nonsensicles? |
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Bouncebackability.
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #5 on: 12 May 2010, 01:32 PM » |
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Sharps, I think he's calling you a nonce.
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #6 on: 12 May 2010, 01:43 PM » |
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Sharps, I think he's calling you a nonce.
Grounds for legal action? |
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #7 on: 12 May 2010, 01:45 PM » |
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Grounds for legal action?
Why the hell not. |
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #8 on: 12 May 2010, 01:55 PM » |
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Sharps, go for it, if you think you have a chance - cretin! Cant wait to see your face when a solicitor just plainly laughs in your face at the thought of someone supposedly on a sex crimes register trying to take legal action on someone else  |
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Bouncebackability.
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #9 on: 12 May 2010, 01:57 PM » |
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Sharps, go for it, if you think you have a chance - cretin! Cant wait to see your face when a solicitor just plainly laughs in your face at the thought of someone supposedly on a sex crimes register trying to take legal action on someone else Did the last 2 sentences make sense to anybody else? |
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #10 on: 12 May 2010, 01:59 PM » |
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Did the last 2 sentences make sense to anybody else?
Sort of. I think he was again accusing you of being a nonce. Ring that bloke who used to be that dodgy detective on the Bill, he'll sort it for you. |
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #11 on: 12 May 2010, 02:00 PM » |
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Sort of. I think he was again accusing you of being a nonce. Ring that bloke who used to be that dodgy detective on the Bill, he'll sort it for you.
Reg Hollis? The one who tried to kill himself when they laid him off? |
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aarons2009
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« Reply #12 on: 12 May 2010, 02:01 PM » |
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Did the last 2 sentences make sense to anybody else?
This thread was started by Didle...none of this thread makes sense! |
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We're the one and only Wanderers!
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #13 on: 12 May 2010, 02:03 PM » |
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Reg Hollis? The one who tried to kill himself when they laid him off?
Noooooo, you cretinous foolish imbecile! He was only a PC! Good Grief, man! Are you seriously trying to tell me you don't know all the characters in The Bill? I'm disappointed in you, Sharps! |
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #14 on: 12 May 2010, 02:12 PM » |
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Sort of. I think he was again accusing you of being a nonce. Ring that bloke who used to be that dodgy detective on the Bill, he'll sort it for you.
You mean the actor that when as a youth used to hand around London ganf=gsters and his daughter once starred in Hustle and then moved to the US drama Dexter!!! His characters name was Don Beech - and what is he going to do -gosh I am sooooooooooooooo scared!!!! |
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Bouncebackability.
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #15 on: 12 May 2010, 02:14 PM » |
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He's on an ambulance chasing lawyers advert over here. You clearly don't know that. So, shush, I wasn't speaking to you.
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #16 on: 12 May 2010, 02:17 PM » |
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He's on an ambulance chasing lawyers advert over here. You clearly don't know that. So, shush, I wasn't speaking to you.
Yes I remember him but I think I will consult DCI Jack Meadows he seems like he knows the law like the back of his hand. |
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #17 on: 12 May 2010, 02:32 PM » |
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Yes I remember him but I think I will consult DCI Jack Meadows he seems like he knows the law like the back of his hand.
when was the last time you saw The Bill. Jack Meadows is the head honcho of Sun Hill nowadays - not been a DCI for almost 12 months! |
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Bouncebackability.
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #18 on: 12 May 2010, 03:23 PM » |
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when was the last time you saw The Bill.
Jack Meadows is the head honcho of Sun Hill nowadays - not been a DCI for almost 12 months!
I would like to think that your joking and are not some kind of Sad Bill fanatic, that show hasnt been good for about 5 years. I hope you appreciate your blog being turned into a discussion about The Bill diddledee. |
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Chris Rabz
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« Reply #19 on: 12 May 2010, 03:34 PM » |
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I don't appreciate this looking more popular than my blog when really it's just a conversation about The Bill!
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When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low. When resentment rides high, but emotion won't grow... And we're changing our ways, taking different roads. Love... Love will tear us apart, again.
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Diana Prince
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« Reply #20 on: 12 May 2010, 03:35 PM » |
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My fault, sorry. Well, actually, it's not. It's that K2er for calling BS a nonce.
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Didledee
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« Reply #21 on: 12 May 2010, 04:43 PM » |
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I don't think my Blog was serious enough to expect anything else but these responses, and it being turned into a conversation between Diana, Amos and Sharps lol  |
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* Jay Jay Okocha * Youri Djorkaeff * BWFC * Stu Holden * Lee Chung-Yong * |
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