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Shaft
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« on: 09 May 2010, 08:43 AM » |
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Natasha, real name Derek, is fast asleep in his bed in Johnson Fold. Its 7:30am when his mother shouts 'Wake up Derek, time for work'. Derek starts an argument within a minute of waking up with his mother for shouting.
7:30: Derek gets out of bed for another hard day at work.
7:40: The day hasn't started well for Derek, he has left the house without realising he has forgotten to take off the lipstick he tried on last night.
7:45: Derek is at the bus stop now and someone in the queue gives Derek a strange look when they notice his lipstick. Derek has an argument with him.
7:50: The bus arrives but Derek starts an argument with the bus driver because he objects to paying the 80p bus fare.
8:30: Derek gets to work and puts his rubber gloves on. Derek is excited by his first task of the day because its cleaning out the women's toilets and is hoping he sees a woman on the lav.
8:40: The day doesn't start well, Derek's tie dips in the toilet and is wet with urine. He also doesn't see any women in the loo and is disappointed.
11am: Derek has been working hard this morning but an embarrassing moment happens in the staff room when he goes to get his hanky out of his pocket. Out of his pocket falls a pair of his grandmother's underwear. Everyone looks at Derek in horror. Derek starts an argument.
12:00 Its lunch time now. Derek saw in the local paper that Aldi have some pies on offer for 50p, that will make a cheap lunch for Derek. Unfortunately Aldi are all out of pies and Derek starts an argument with the manager.
13:00 Derek is back at work, this time its cleaning out the gents toilets. He cleans them out but some fat guy has a massive dump which means Derek has to start again. Derek is not happy and threatens to strangle him with his Mum's largest dildo.
17:00 Home time at least for Derek. He runs home, he hasn't been on Burnden aces for 18 hours and he has had such a bad day that he has decided he is really going to lay into Amos this time.
17:35 Derek, now back as Nat starts an argument on the forum and also pm's Amos telling him he must die.
18:00 Derek has his tea, his mother cooks him fish fingers and super noodles. But its beef flavour and Derek doesn't like beef flavour so he has an argument with his mother.
19:00 Derek tries on his mother's underwear and make up. He really likes the pink bra his mother bought last week.
Derek spends his evening locked in his room trying on more of his mother's clothes and handing out abuse on Burnden Aces.
23:00 Derek has had a tough day and retires to bed. He pulls back his Bananaman duvet and climbs in for the night.
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Natasha Whittam
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« Reply #1 on: 09 May 2010, 09:42 AM » |
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I'm embarrassed that the once great Mich Caine has resorted to this load of crap. I didn't laugh once.
Where do once great posters go to die?
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Fair play to you then if you're willing to share your knickers with a willy.
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Weststander
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« Reply #2 on: 09 May 2010, 10:49 AM » |
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A bit like Bolton,s season really that, a lot of effort for not much. What do they say about imitation and flattery?
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Biggles
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« Reply #3 on: 09 May 2010, 11:15 AM » |
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I'm embarrassed that the once great Mich Caine has resorted to this load of crap. I didn't laugh once.
Where do once great posters go to die?
Embarrassed,did not laugh once. Its all right giving it out to other posters,but dont like it when this kind of drivel is aimed back at you. A bit close to the truth for you was it? |
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #4 on: 09 May 2010, 11:24 AM » |
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I thought it was a wank effort but the advantage is that Amos reveals all and Natasha dosnt let much slip which is why you was always going to struggle.
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Natasha Whittam
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« Reply #5 on: 09 May 2010, 11:27 AM » |
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Its all right giving it out to other posters,but dont like it when this kind of drivel is aimed back at you.
A bit close to the truth for you was it?
Quite the opposite, I was hoping for something really abusive that made me laugh out loud. It didn't happen. |
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Fair play to you then if you're willing to share your knickers with a willy.
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Shaft
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« Reply #6 on: 09 May 2010, 11:46 AM » |
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Oh well, I gave it a try. Maybe I am losing my golden touch from the past.
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Natasha Whittam
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« Reply #7 on: 09 May 2010, 11:47 AM » |
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That lottery win has gone to your head.
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Fair play to you then if you're willing to share your knickers with a willy.
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #8 on: 09 May 2010, 01:36 PM » |
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I thought it was a wank effort but the advantage is that Amos reveals all and Natasha dosnt let much slip which is why you was always going to struggle.
Thing is - so you believe what I wrote to be fully accurate?  Or Is it just as made up as what Natasha's i, just more realistic? That you will never know, to be honest, Mr Sharples. right, now getting ready for the match (how was the match, yesterday, Sharpy??? lol lol lol) |
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Bouncebackability.
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Howfen White
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« Reply #9 on: 09 May 2010, 01:37 PM » |
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I liked it a lot. Shut up Derek
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teddy33
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« Reply #10 on: 11 May 2010, 04:02 AM » |
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nice post
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« Last Edit: 11 May 2010, 11:25 PM by Manny »
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Dr_BWFC_White
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« Reply #11 on: 14 May 2010, 10:51 AM » |
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I'm embarrassed that the once great Mich Caine has resorted to this load of crap. I didn't laugh once.
Where do once great posters go to die?
Just for clarity, is Shaft and the homosexual body builder Mich Caine one in the same person? |
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #12 on: 14 May 2010, 11:00 AM » |
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Just for clarity, is Shaft and the homosexual body builder Mich Caine one in the same person?
Supposedly. |
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Dr_BWFC_White
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« Reply #13 on: 14 May 2010, 11:08 AM » |
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The bent twat, it's bad enough being Scottish but posting pictures of yourself posing in body building positions is just the actions of a marmite driller
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Shaft
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« Reply #14 on: 14 May 2010, 07:42 PM » |
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Just for clarity, is Shaft and the homosexual body builder Mich Caine one in the same person?
I am guessing you are a fan of my work? |
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Didledee
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« Reply #15 on: 14 May 2010, 08:08 PM » |
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19:24 - Irons face
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* Jay Jay Okocha * Youri Djorkaeff * BWFC * Stu Holden * Lee Chung-Yong * |
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Dr_BWFC_White
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« Reply #16 on: 14 May 2010, 08:10 PM » |
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To be fair
As Shaft I've always found you pretty ok but as Mich whatever you where called I thought you were a complete knob
So to summarise, I don't mind you in your current alter ego
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Sluffy
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« Reply #17 on: 14 May 2010, 09:54 PM » |
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I am guessing you are a fan of my work?
He might not be but I am - Mich Upson / Mich Caine / Shaft / etc!  |
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Dr_BWFC_White
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« Reply #18 on: 14 May 2010, 11:40 PM » |
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You sound like Natasha
Good Lord, surely you have your own persona
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