Ok, so we've had some ups and downs this season, more downs than ups, and barring the appointment of Owen Coyle and the 4-0 hammering of Wigan, there's nothing more satisfying to a Bolton fan than seeing us do the double over West Ham United year on year. So here it is, re-living the not-so-distant memory of our 2-1 victory against West Ham on 6th March 2010 at Upton Park.
It was Owen Coyle's first away victory as a Bolton manager, and (I think) our 6th win in a row against those dodgy Jellied Eels eaters. I decided to have a browse round their forum at 'West Ham United Online', in their Bolton match thread, to see what lovely things they were saying about us prior, during and post-match.
Be warned, there's lots of anger and swearing used in this thread, I was quite surprised to see so much really! So if you're easily offended, stay away, but for everyone else I can assure you this will give you a great laugh.
So we begin by one of their moderators posting a preview:
"Oh God, it’s Bolton, our Nemesis! Yes, that’s right. Since 2002 results against Bolton Wanderers are worse than any other team in English football bar none. Pld 18 Won 3 Drn 4 Lst 11 GF16 GA30
Results against Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool don’t even get close to being that one sided. It is absolutely inexplicable and worse still we have lost the last 5 games against Bolton on the trot, all of which were post Sam Allardyce.
I cannot offer an explanation for our Bolton Hoodoo, I doubt anyone can. They are a club of sluggers from the frozen north, the days of Big Sam they had talented, unwanted Africans and Eastern Europeans that clearly thrived on pie and chips and a good punch up with the soft cockneys.."
Brilliant start. I'm looking forward to this already! Anyway, onto the replies, and the predictions from the Hammers faithful:
West Ham 2 Notlob 0
4-0 Hammers.
I have never felt so confident of a win.
IRON'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Quite a confident bunch these lot... Next one, I wouldn't trust him myself!
Trust me 4-2 to west ham.
2-0 Cole ,Behrami
Ahhhh this is what you all want isn't it, a bit of hatred! Well here we go:
I bloody hate Bolton, but I reckon we might nick it 2-1.
Anyway, onto some people with slightly more sense:
Got a nagging feeling that these fannys will come down and turn us over. Hope I'm wrong....
I think Davies will beat Tomkins up all day long,
Always one isn't there:
West Ham 3-0 Bolton
Davies sent off
Onto our team... we have a Chinese player?
And anyone know the Bolton side, need to keep an eye on their Chinese player, he looks quite good.
Where has this guy been all his life, in Denmark?
Watch out for Elmander. He's not shíte.
Anyway, onto the match we go. With KD scoring pretty early on, there wasn't much abuse and anger pre-match up until he scored. It soon starts after he nods in to make it 1-0 to Bolton:
fcuking HELL!! WHY DOES THIS fanny ALWAYS SCORE AGAINST US?!?!?!?!
Maybe because you're rubbish? Onto a bit more anger:
fcuking Bolton fannys.
fcúk OFF YOU fannys
oh my god
It was pretty much all of that, up until the 2nd goal goes in, to make it 2-0 to Bolton by Jack Wilshere:
Tomkins you useless fanny
fcuking IDIOT TOMKINS!!
Game over already, gutless fannys can never put up a fight against these lot.
Calamity Cowboys. Always the same against these gypsy fannys
jesus fcuking christ do these fannys understand how important this fcuking game is
Yes we do, unfortunately it didn't send you down!
The anger starts to settle a little as Bolton cool off the attacks, and the wonderful compliments come out about that Chinese bloke we have, I've still no idea who it is though:
That Chinese fanny on the right is good. Someone needs to gve him a dig.
As usual we're making Kevin Davies look like Pele.
That Chink on the wing needs crippling
We must have had an attack or something, because they're getting angry again:
What is it about Bolton? Why do we ALWAYS lose to these fannys?
What a pile of shíte this is
COME ON YOU BUNCH OF fannys
IRONNNSSSSS
Didn't really understand this one... especially with the salary Kieron Dyer is on!
Mark Davies you overpaid bastards
Thank God you're in the Premier League, West Ham:
These northern fuckers ain't even SCORED in five away from home.
Couldn't mark my fcuking Granny these lot.
To sum up:
I hate Bolton.
fcúk THIS BOLLOCKS
Getting mad over time wasting?
KICK THE BALL YOU fcuking BEARDED FINNISH FREAK.
Time wasting already, fcuking fannys
The final whistle goes.
Can somebody also explain why Zola put Tomkins on Kevin Davies? Davies played him like a fanny and looked a threat every time, he took Tomkins to pieces completely, leaving him at fault for both goals. Why wasn't our most experienced defender, Upson, detailed to take care of Davies? He offers no pace at all and I have no doubt Upson would have handled him better, but after 15 minutes the game was effectively over.
And to save the best one till last IMO, a beautiful summary by one fan:
When you play fuckingshit teams like Bolton you have to earn the right to play your football and we just haven't.
Why oh fcuking why can't we get physical against these fannys.
That fcuking little nip should have been smashed in the first five minutes.
Huge huge game for us and we are just not up for it,Bolton have produced no surprises whatsoever we should have been prepared for the way they play and we just aren't.
It's just so fcuking dissapointing to be losing to the most hateful shower of shíte in the division .
There you have it!
