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Author Topic: Online Datings Ads for BA Posters  (Read 391 times)
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Natasha Whittam
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« on: 11 February 2010, 02:07 PM »

I'll start with one for Chris Amos:

38 year old single, overweight, ginger male seeks female (or camp male) for friendship and maybe sweaty sex in the backseat of his Nissan.  Enjoys hanging out in Sportsbars with imaginary celebrities, slow walks in the park and making up stories about his sorry life. Anyone replying must expect a mental breakdown at regular intervals.
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #1 on: 11 February 2010, 02:10 PM »

I'll start with one for Chris Amos:

38 year old single, overweight, ginger male seeks female (or camp male) for friendship and maybe sweaty sex in the backseat of his Nissan.  Enjoys hanging out in Sportsbars with imaginary celebrities, slow walks in the park and making up stories about his sorry life. Anyone replying must expect a mental breakdown at regular intervals.


Brilliant your back on form , I expect his imminent reply to be poor but I shall wait and see.
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they have that pillock Big-Sharps on there who has the most vile, disgusting gob of all the forums, so I'd like to know just what limits they do have.
Natasha Whittam
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« Reply #2 on: 11 February 2010, 02:22 PM »

Big Sharps:

23 year old male in a sexless marriage seeks adventurous, shellsuit wearing, white female into fisting, butt plugs and shagging in pub toilets. Must have at least three benefit books, sorry, three kids.
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« Reply #3 on: 11 February 2010, 02:36 PM »

Sir Nut Dingle:

28 year old Dingle seeks a Swedish man in his twenties called Johan. May consider 50 year old man with ginger hair called Gary. Enjoys living in Blackburn, flying his helicopter and playing football at the JJB Dome with his 15 year old "pals". Anyone replying must bring their own lube.
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« Reply #4 on: 11 February 2010, 02:43 PM »

Big Sharps:

23 year old male in a sexless marriage seeks adventurous, shellsuit wearing, white female into fisting, butt plugs and shagging in pub toilets. Must have at least three benefit books, sorry, three kids.

I object to being labelled sexless and married as neither is true although your asumption I would prefer the more chavier lady may not be far wrong  Tongue althought im spoken for so will not be accepting any dates at present.

Do one for squidgy he is desperate and in need of non paid touching of his chode.
« Last Edit: 11 February 2010, 04:56 PM by Big_Sharps » Logged

they have that pillock Big-Sharps on there who has the most vile, disgusting gob of all the forums, so I'd like to know just what limits they do have.
a.s
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« Reply #5 on: 11 February 2010, 04:45 PM »

A thread so funny it made me re-register Cool

Squidgy

38 year old Southerner, seeks female to wash clothes and ferry to/from the football, must have a GSOH and enjoy the smell of bacon......
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« Reply #6 on: 11 February 2010, 05:38 PM »

A thread so funny it made me re-register Cool

Squidgy

38 year old Southerner, seeks female to wash clothes and ferry to/from the football, must have a GSOH and enjoy the smell of bacon......

I'm 39!!! And you missed out prefers big knockers
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Squidgy
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« Reply #7 on: 11 February 2010, 05:40 PM »

Natasha:

Seeks any fúcker into high end masochism.

Porky Dutchmen or Nutjobs need not apply.
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #8 on: 11 February 2010, 06:01 PM »

I'll start with one for Chris Amos:

38 year old single, overweight, ginger male seeks female (or camp male) for friendship and maybe sweaty sex in the backseat of his Nissan.  Enjoys hanging out in Sportsbars with imaginary celebrities, slow walks in the park and making up stories about his sorry life. Anyone replying must expect a mental breakdown at regular intervals.



Nissan??  thats a bit of an expensive car

Robin Reliant is the height of my ambitious cars! Tongue
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« Reply #9 on: 11 February 2010, 06:09 PM »

Nissan??  thats a bit of an expensive car

Robin Reliant is the height of my ambitious cars! Tongue

Yes and that's a motorbike. Cool
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #10 on: 11 February 2010, 06:28 PM »

Nissan??  thats a bit of an expensive car

Robin Reliant is the height of my ambitious cars! Tongue

Yes and that's a motorbike. Cool

Only for vehicle duty (more commonly known as Road Tax) - otherwise it is a car  Roll Eyes
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« Reply #11 on: 11 February 2010, 06:46 PM »

What licence do you need to drive one? then tell me it's a car, it's just a trike with a roof.
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #12 on: 11 February 2010, 06:51 PM »

What licence do you need to drive one? then tell me it's a car, it's just a trike with a roof.

The Robin can be driven by holders of a B1 category licence or car licence in the United Kingdom.
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Didledee
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« Reply #13 on: 11 February 2010, 06:52 PM »

267

Must like Wookiees

Must look like Wookiees

Must smell like Wookiees

Must be has hairy has Wookiees

267 wants nookie with wookie

or any sheep will do!  Tongue

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Archiebold Stanley III
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« Reply #14 on: 11 February 2010, 07:04 PM »

Come on Tash, hit me!
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Squidgy
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« Reply #15 on: 11 February 2010, 07:05 PM »

Come on Tash, hit me!

You applying for her ad?
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Archiebold Stanley III
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« Reply #16 on: 11 February 2010, 07:07 PM »

Needs must Sqidge, Needs must! Grin
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #17 on: 11 February 2010, 07:17 PM »

Found Tasha's add in the Lancashire Telegraph!!!!

Hello, I am a vigorous, 55 year positive established man, who loves living. I love change and spiritually established. I only feel myself very well. Hence that I am in search of an independent man who knows what he wants for itself and with respect to friendship and relation. Someone whose glass is rather half-full than half empty and is prepared  to show his strength in.


Just what the heck do you mean by the bit in bold??
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Big_Sharps
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« Reply #18 on: 11 February 2010, 07:34 PM »

Found Tasha's add in the Lancashire Telegraph!!!!

Hello, I am a vigorous, 55 year positive established man, who loves living. I love change and spiritually established. I only feel myself very well. Hence that I am in search of an independent man who knows what he wants for itself and with respect to friendship and relation. Someone whose glass is rather half-full than half empty and is prepared  to show his strength in.


Just what the heck do you mean by the bit in bold??

How do you just stumble across the personals?

Archie needs must eh? Only a matter of time before your cockney bride got bored.
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they have that pillock Big-Sharps on there who has the most vile, disgusting gob of all the forums, so I'd like to know just what limits they do have.
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« Reply #19 on: 11 February 2010, 07:38 PM »

Behave yourself Bitch! i rescued her, and she's still around to perform felatio on tap! when i say on tap, obviously i mean on birthdays and other special occasions! For fucks sake, her names not Natasha Shocked
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The Ghost of Burnden
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« Reply #20 on: 11 February 2010, 08:16 PM »

Found Tasha's add in the Lancashire Telegraph!!!!

Hello, I am a vigorous, 55 year positive established man, who loves living. I love change and spiritually established. I only feel myself very well. Hence that I am in search of an independent man who knows what he wants for itself and with respect to friendship and relation. Someone whose glass is rather half-full than half empty and is prepared  to show his strength in.


Just what the heck do you mean by the bit in bold??

How do you just stumble across the personals?

Archie needs must eh? Only a matter of time before your cockney bride got bored.


Some of the personals are always good for a laugh !!
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Natasha Whittam
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« Reply #21 on: 11 February 2010, 11:02 PM »

Didledee:

9 year old boy in a 20 year old man's body seeks female who enjoys nights in watching You Tube clips of cats playing the piano. Not interested in sex but will cuddle providing it can be filmed for a You Tube clip.
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« Reply #22 on: 11 February 2010, 11:46 PM »

I really don't see how i've given out this impression!  Angry

And what's wrong with cats playing piano?
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« Reply #23 on: 12 February 2010, 12:17 AM »

I really don't see how i've given out this impression!  Angry

And what's wrong with cats playing piano?

Because it was faked

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2Th2QoHd2o
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